Miscellaneous: An Open Letter To Entertainment Weekly

Dear Entertainment Weekly,

I’ll give you credit for trying to cast the net a little wider with the nationwide pop culture recap in your September 12 issue. It is, in fact, true that “the hottest ticket” at Seattle’s Seven Gables Theater is Elegy. It is also the coldest ticket, considering that the Seven Gables has only one screen. I can’t believe I renewed my subscription through 2010.

Hoping this finds you well,
Vince Keenan

Miscellaneous: Blue Blaze Irregular Link

Just a day after learning that I made one of my coworkers a convert to the glories of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension comes word of Buckaroo’s return in comic book form. Wherever Buckaroo goes, there I am.

Labels: Miscellaneous, Open Letters

On The Web: The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three (1974)

I can’t believe I didn’t mention this yesterday. More than one person told me about it, and Bill Crider even thinks I’m responsible. But The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three in its glorious entirety is now free on Hulu. Meaning you have no excuse not to have seen the greatest motion picture ever made.

TV: The Olympics Opening Ceremonies

Director Zhang Yimou did an extraordinary job with last night’s spectacle, even if the Death Star made an appearance and Lang Lang had Heat Miser’s hair.

DVD: Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (2008)

Forget the Olympics. Nothing in recent memory has stirred my patriotism like this movie. USA! USA! USA!

Miscellaneous: An Open Letter to Senator John Edwards

Dear Senator Edwards:

Jesus, man, you’re a trial lawyer! You of all people should know there’s no way to keep an affair secret during a Presidential bid, even if you didn’t father the woman’s child and then pay her off. What if you’d actually gotten the nomination? A laughable notion, I know, but lawyers should consider every angle. I hereby retract every positive statement I have ever made about you, your policy positions, or your hair.

Sincerely,
Vince Keenan

PS. OK. I stand by my statements about the hair.

Miscellaneous: An Open Letter to the Various Cable News Networks

Dear Various Cable News Networks:

I understand how difficult it is to resist the siren song of the aforementioned scandal, particularly when Edwards himself says, “If you want to beat me up – feel free.” But could you maybe backburner the story for a spell while Russia is attacking another country? I’d kinda like to know what the hell is going on.

Sincerely,
Vince Keenan

Labels: Movies, On The Web, Open Letters, Sports