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    Wednesday, November 05, 2008

    Music: You Have Your MTV!

    With the election over, you’re no doubt on the hunt for prime time-wasting opportunities. Look no further than MTV Music, a database of almost 20,000 videos. It’s already yielding surprises. More to the point, it has finally delivered unto me my own personal white whale.

    For years I have been obsessed with the 1986 video for “American Storm” by Bob Seger. Not the straight performance version that occasionally surfaces on VH1 Classic or is easily found on YouTube. No, I mean the video featuring scenes from an action thriller with an all-star cast including James Woods, Scott Glenn, Randy Quaid and Lesley Ann Warren.

    The only problem is ... the movie doesn’t exist.

    The “scenes” were shot exclusively for the Seger video. To this day I have no idea if this was intended as post-modern commentary on the then-standard practice of using videos as film promotion tools, or just a really, really bad idea.

    I hadn’t seen that version of “American Storm” since high school. Thanks to MTV Music, I present it to you now.

    As if that’s not enough, you can also enjoy an absolutely pristine copy of “Crucified” by Army of Lovers. My first wife has never looked so good. The minx.

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    My guess? It was a really bad idea.

    I think, however, that it is your DESTINY to make the movie that never was: American Storm. Of course, you'd have to recast it, unless it was set in a Florida retirement community.

    Speaking of which, considering the shenanigans going on at your parents' place, I'm surprised there isn't a reality show about the soap opera-like lives led by the "Sunset Acres" set. A&E would eat that up! They just gave Keyshawn Johnson his own reality show about interior design, for crying out loud. Those f&ckers are desperate!

    Anyway, I had high hopes for the MTV site, but so far, I'm underwhelmed.

    When I search for Adam Ant, and don't get the videos for "Desperate But Not Serious" or "Goody Two Shoes," then I cannot take the site seriously.

    Maybe it's because it's still in beta, but methinks there are many rights issues to be ironed out.

    Wake me when "AEIOU Sometimes Y" is available.


    How could I not have looked for that video first? EBN-OZN forever!

    As for your American Storm: The Movie notion -- pure genius. I'm on it.


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