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    Thursday, December 13, 2007

    Movies: Three Hand Grenades, Two Mortar Shells, and a Suitcase Full of C-4

    Slate provides some holiday cheer by serving up a list of alternative Christmas movies. Two of my yuletide staples are here (Die Hard and The Ice Harvest) along with some other inspired choices (The Thin Man, the haunting 2046 and All That Heaven Allows, a beautiful and deeply moving film that may send you into the egg nog headfirst.) I suppose tossing Bad Santa on there would have been too obvious.

    But there’s no mention of the contemporary master of the Christmas movie: Shane Black. Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, all of ‘em set at the holidays, all of ‘em packed with a sleigh’s worth of firepower. Just what’s needed at the end of those long shopping days.

    And where’s the Christmas movie that provides Chez K with its sole holiday tradition? Every year since its release, we screen it. In fact, I think we’re about due to fire it up.

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    In honor of Shane Black and your inspiring start...

    Twelve cars exploding
    Eleven extras running
    Ten tankers skidding
    Nine strippers pole-ing
    Eight Uzis firing
    Seven henchmen scowling
    Six choppers crashing

    Five silver Glocks

    Four ticking bombs
    Three hand grenades
    Two mortar shells
    And a suitcase full of C-4


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