DVD: Varietease (1954)/Teaserama (1955)

The snippets of “retro erotica” available via On Demand piqued my interest in their source, these movies from the good people at Something Weird Video. They’re low-budget recreations of burlesque shows, complete with baggy pants comics, musical interludes and, um, you know ... strippers. Don’t worry, though, folks. It’s all in good bawdy fun. Why, it’s downright wholesome is what it is.

The featured attraction in Varietease, the better of the two movies, is the crème de la crème of the burly-q circuit, the Anatomic Bomb herself, the lovely Lili St. Cyr*. Teaserama offers all the erotic magic of Tempest Storm* folding up a convertible sofa. Which is more than you might think. Curiously, I can’t find any web presence for the ravishing Chris La Chris, who is in both films. Which only goes to prove that people never know what’s good, even when it comes to hoochie-coochie girls.

Another performer who appears in both movies is pin-up goddess Bettie Page*. In fact, Bettie’s presence is the only reason these films are on DVD at all. Each disc also has an arcade reel of Bettie called “Teaser Girl in High Heels” that still features the Deposit Another Coin For The Next Part slides – and which I studied purely as cultural artifacts.

Believe it or not, I mainly watched these films for the comedy. Plenty of great talent sprang out of the burlesque circuit, although you wouldn’t necessarily know it from what’s on display here. Still, check out this intro from comic Bobby Shields:

The producer of this show has gone to a great expense to bring to you six of the most lovely dolls direct from Paris. Paris, France. And folks, when these four girls come out, I want you to give them a great hand because these two dolls are beautiful. And ladies and gentlemen, here she is now ...

Come on. That’s funny.

* To be on the safe side, I’m going to say that these links aren’t safe for work. Although if you ask me, any job where these links aren’t safe is not a job worth having.

Miscellaneous: Helpful TV Listing Of The Day

Sci-Fi Channel: The Triangle (Part Three). The team races to prevent a catastrophic disaster while facing insurmountable odds.

Hope I didn’t spoil it for anyone.